Ranking all 14 items from The Real Pod Museum
Producer Samuel unpacks the famed Real Pod Museum and ranks each item by quality and practicality.
A gold bar from Celebrity Treasure Island
The idea of having an actual piece of the titular treasure in your reality TV museum is, on the surface, a great get. However, the gold bar goes straight to the bottom of the list for being literally just a hunk of wood spray-painted gold (badly). It didn’t look great on the telly and it doesn’t dazzle IRL.
Signed Babagatto menu from My Restaurant Rules
I, personally, did not watch MRR so am not at liberty to comment on the historical importance of this restaurant, but based on what I can read from the notably A4 printer paper menu, I’m not going to be dining here anytime soon. Extra points for claiming Duncan, who selflessly asked for this autograph, IS “The Real Pod”.
Top Pop popcorn from The Apprentice Aotearoa
This popcorn makes me uncomfortable. It has been open without even an attempt at sealing the package since 2021. Despite their staleness, the kernels themselves maintained their shape really well. Side note: why does the bee have turkey teeth?
Kea Corn from The Apprentice Aotearoa
This popcorn has the better branding by far. Surprised I still can’t pick this bad boy off of the Countdown (Woolworths??) shelves right now. Despite also being wide open for several years, this popcorn maintained its crunch and flavour factor slightly better than its popcorn rival.
A cookie from the launch of The Apprentice Aotearoa
Out of all of the years-old-food this is the one I desire to eat the most. Though, for the sake of keeping the collection intact, I did not indulge. This cookie reminds me of a simpler time when TV show launches would come with fabulous star-studded parties that annoyingly stopped right as I got a job at The Spinoff. Convenient.
A clue and a scroll from Celebrity Treasure Island
It is almost comical how low-grade these props are. The scroll is reminiscent of a pirate-themed arts and crafts project from primary school and the note about the Three Sisters appears as if a production assistant forgot the prop before filming and quickly scribbled down the lore on a loose sheet of notepad.
A cap from Survivor NZ: Thailand
RANK! Why is this hat yellowing? Is the discolouration on the brim dust, mould or something more sinister? While the embroidery is nice the hat looks more like bootleg Survivor merch you’d buy in Thailand instead of the real deal.
Note from Alex: This hat was thrown onto my head by the big boss at Warner Brothers when I needed to go for a walk in the sun. He said “Keep It” so I simply… did. The aforementioned brim dust is 100% authentic from the dry lakeside Survivor camp in Khao Laem National Park, which makes this not only an authentic item but also a biosecurity hazard. Rare!
Larissa’s fondant from The Great New Zealand Bake-off
Larissa’s fondant from The Great Kiwi Bake Off season one is the best of the perishable items in the museum. Although still gross, there are no signs of age on the fondant itself. After five years, the taste has held up extremely well. But that is not saying much as fondant was always gross to begin with. Great mems!
Metal Rose from The Bachelorette NZ
A well-crafted, beautiful, sentimental item gifted to The Real Pod by none other than Art Green himself. Made by Quinn for Lesina when he first came down the red carpet in The Bachelorette NZ S1, the metallic flower is a unique and eye-catching item. Side note: rose is spiky and hurt me when unpacking it. ACC claim incoming.
Rude Coffee sachet from The Apprentice Aotearoa
Potentially the most practical item on our list, the singular RUDE Coffee sachet is something I would make on an early morning in the office or when I’m trying to use all of the amenities in a hotel room. Sadly, this coffee expires at the end of November 2023 (just like The Real Pod 😭) so won’t stay ingestible, and therefor high on this list, much longer.
Hugo Grrrl’s Bordello heels from House of Drag
I feel a lot safer in the office knowing there are a trusty pair of stripper heels in the cupboard, just in case. These shoes are expensive and I believe bought by a generous Cornie who nabbed them off Hugo during an online sale. A generous donation.
Ben & Aaron’s marriage certificate from Married At First Sight NZ
I support gay marriage but I also support gay divorce. This item feels particularly scandalous and illegal to own, but I’m glad we have it. Plus one of the background photos that’s set dressing for the apartments? cute! Side note: Can you believe NZ was the only country where you had to get legally married on MAFS????
Haydn’s wedding ring and a proposal from Married At First Sight NZ
At times I find myself feeling very “Dear Alex” but most of the time I’m much more of a “(and/or Jane)”. This is a real MAFS wedding ring. Crazy. The ring itself is in good condition and is presumably sellable. The handwritten note is a nice touch but getting proposed to via post-it note isn’t at all enough romantic flair for me.
Dame Susan Devoy’s stone of power from Treasure Island: Fans v Faves
Remember when Jane was on Treasure Island?!?!?! This year had some of the highest highs in Real Pod history, and seeing Big Mum up there on those telly screens was one of the highest of them all. Even though she was robbed on the show, Jane robbed the show right back, bringing home one of the mysterious stones of power with her. While we still can’t decipher which of Susan’s delicately named rocks this one is, for comedy purposes, we’re going to say it’s Dick.