Monday Cornucopia: A farewell from Alex, Jane and Duncan
It's like the Friday Cornucopia but on a Monday...
From Jane:
Friends, allies and even you Suzy Alexander.
Please know this: you mean more to us than you could possibly imagine. Yes, Duncan, Alex and I adore having lols on mic with eachother. Yes, we’ve enjoyed the opportunity to go to Anne Batley-Burton’s Pussy Party and The Apprentice Aotearoa unofficial finale screening at a go-kart track. Yes we’ve relished reporting on Mike Puru’s bad chicken tum. BUT… were it not for The Real Pod Corner and the golden corn nuggets within, there’s no way this silly little podcast would have lasted as long as it has.It’s because of you, our beloved cornies, we’ve spent eight years gathering week in and week out to apply high level analysis to low stakes reality telly and pop culture. The relationships we’ve built with you, and the connections you’ve built with each other are so precious and wholesome and truly unlike anything we’ve had the privilege to be part of. We’re incredibly proud of the community that has risen out of The Real Pod and forever humbled by the support you’ve shown the podcast, but also us as humans. We love you, we are grateful for you and as the Max Key Corner sting goes, we’ll never forget you…
From Alex:
Fighting every bone in my body not to make a bunch of stupid jokes here, because the truth is that The Real Pod and The Cornies have meant a tremendous deal to me for the last eight years. I never would have thought, perched awkwardly around the kitchen table of Jane Yee from C4 to make cancellable comments about The Bachelor NZ in 2015, that we would be still be here in 2023. Hundreds of episodes, thousands of hilarious memories, and maybe one (?) award. What a run.Thank you for being there with us through all the emotional dumps, big life changes, celebrity guests and endless non-sequiturs usually ending up in a toilet bowl. Thank you to everyone who said hello in real life and dealt with whatever garbled drivel they got in response. But, most importantly, thank you for being a constant reminder that there’s a whole community of kind, funny, generous dorks out there who also love pop culture and are also sorry so much. Viva la cornfield!
From Duncan:
Don’t laugh that’s over, cry because it happened is I think the phrase. I don’t think I’ve ever had more powerfully mixed feelings about the end of something as I have since made this call and told our people (literally you) about it. The Real Pod has been around almost as long as The Spinoff itself, and I’m ngl it has been stressful at times trying to build this weird media org from scratch. But being able to retreat into the goofy safety of The Real Pod every week and just have so. many. laughs. with these two deadset legends saved my life and brain. I will miss that weekly time with my whole heart. But I really want to emphasise what Alex and Jane have said about how crucial you, the Cornies, have been to it all. That sense of a group of people who were really here for us, laughing on the bus, having us be weird company when you needed it, and just generally enjoying reality TV on all the levels available – that’s what kept us all going so long. Please continue to be Cornies and be sorry, and know that this silly little podcast would have been literally nothing with you all.
My Kitchen Rules NZ: Week Four
This week the stars are out as celebrities descended on MKRNZ to judge a six course degustation, resulting in some of the horniest feedback we’ve heard.
The podcast is available to listen to for paid and unpaid followers of The Real Pod Substack here.
Remember When Sky 1 used to show soft porn?
Join us as we reminisce about the good ol' days of the 90s. When Sky 1's raunchy after-midnight programming, captured the attention of likeminded (dirty) viewers across the nation.
If you haven’t already, you can listen to the episode here, or watch the vodcast below!
Real News Headlines:
In the biggest of news, The Real Pod is having its farewell livestream midday this Wednesday from 12pm. There will be fun, laughs and lots of corny interaction so get in there live during your lunch break and say ta-ta to the silliest corner of the internet.
The Spinoff has launched a new Pledge Me campaign to raise funds for a brand new editorial series What’s Eating Aotearoa. There are lots of great rewards up for grabs including lunch with the one and only Duncan Greive! If you are absolutely bleeding cash you could also get Duncan to record a bespoke podcast episode of your choosing (Real Pod revival perhaps??).
A week of good recaps, Alex has written a hilarious and comprehensive ranking of all of Thin Lizzy’s (Thinabeth Elizabeth’s) essential items listed in her ear-worm of a jingle. Over on The Real Pod Substack, producer Samuel has written a controversial ranking of all of the items in The Real Pod museum. Long live the ranking!
That’s it from us this week, corns! Kia pai tō rā whakatā!
~ Alex, Jane and Duncan <3
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